Move on bitch!

Second post, about the same guy obviously! I know its kinda boring but anyways.
I realized i cant be crying and holding back for the same guy. The guy who no doubt loved me or may be still does but his ego? Whats with that? If theres ego in between i am sure its not love. It just cant be love. Even i have ego and i agree to that. Hell of ego. I still took a step ahead, like always, asking him for a patch up say a month back. Amd still, a no. Its time i need to move on, see how pretty other things are except crying for a single guy, a guy that doesnt bother. Oh wait he does! As a friend obviously "why didnt u have your meal on time?" "Why did u have outside food?" "Took medicines?" And bla bla so on and so forth. He says all the guys who are behind me i give them wrong intuitions, fine may be. But what is he doing? My ex giving me wrong intuitions? Is it ok? You know that this girl is mad for you, can die for you and you treat her like that, that she cant even move on nor stay back? And i dont believe i said it all on sunday evening. I asked him not to care for me so much and not to bother me so much! Idk if i did right or no, but yes i feel better today. Yesterday was miserable so was sunday! But it has to go on this way. Not that i dont have options but if not him than no one. But now, fuck it! Too much taken, too much of pain and nonsense. Keep your ego, i keep my love and move on! This time its serious, move on like a bitch and not your doll who will melt when you come back for the patch up. Idk if u would read this or no. But it really doesnt matter any more!
P.s. i loveD you. I still do, but i wont anymore. #ifyouknwwhatimean.

Hopes.

Life works on hopes. Though it's a bitch but you never know when it takes your side. I was sure my first write up would be related to him, very sure. Jiten, someone i love. Broke up 7 months back and... Fuck it, not taking you to the past... But the last time we broke for 3 months, he patched up when he had gone to punjab. He left for punjab today. It suddenly got my hopes high... Like last time i had lost hopes... No sig  of patching up, but now it just feels there will be some magic... My consciousness says he will come back but my subconscious is so sure he wont. Waiting for Punjab to do something, specially, that Gurudwara where he had been which reminded him of me. Wahe Guru will do it and i know. Other wise, destiny! Let life keep fucking me till i dont move on, i hope i move on, someday!

Too boring as the first blog, i know! Not used to writing, but will, someday! Thats it for now, good night!